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Shopping for the perfect gift for that certain someone this holiday season? You might think eBay wouldn’t have any of the hardcore toys your slutty little elf would want–and you’d be wrong. The world’s largest seller of cool stuff and simultaneously, pure crap, is surprisingly liberal with the kinds of auctions it allows, as we found out late Saturday night while waiting for our CCBill confirmation code to come through.

It turns out eBay is chock full of really useful sex toys, like a three-headed dildo (three in a row, for anal-bead-style action) and an art-glass dildo that would be fab up your ass or on display along with Grandma’s china. Sure, you could cheap out with the innocuous bachelorette-party gag gifts like useless “egg” vibrators and cum towels (no thanks – we already have a Polo set). But for the same price, why not up for the “Professional Dildo Model” T-shirt instead? In case you’re wondering what you can and can’t buy, check here for eBay’s policies.

After Sex Towel XXL

Professional Dildo Model

Art Glass Dildo