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If you’re reading this at home with the door locked and the curtains closed, you’re either not out yet or you’re in the Bible Belt. (Or maybe you’re Ricky Martin.) You’re looking for a way to break out of your straight jacket–and you’re looking for the right place to debut your all-out, cock-loving, fully self-actualized homoman self.

Good thing for you there’s a useful travel guide on PlanetOut this week. The gay megaportal picked the best bars that help you transition from sports-swilling straight boy to diva-loving dickhound. Their choices, the editors say, are places that are “particularly welcoming for newly-minted queers.” Making the cut: Chicago’s Roscoe’s, New Orleans’ Bourbon Pub (home of the $500 lap dance, in our experience) and Atlanta’s Bulldogs, where men of all races come to vet out all the stereotypes about penis size and top/bottom preferences. There’s no Faultline or Eagle to be found; the message being, we guess, to leave those places to the pros.

Like a virgin: A first-timer’s guide to great “coming-out” bars [Planetout.com]